dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
