I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
