are you still at the devil's house?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize