p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
