Your mouth is God's brothel.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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