U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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