Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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