butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
