You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
