well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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