why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
