i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
