she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
