his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
