thus making me awesome and them whores
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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