Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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