tell your sister to shave her snatch
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize