There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
