what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
