At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
