problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
