Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
