We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
