i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think my moral compass just broke
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
