it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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