Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
