You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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