I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
