mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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