I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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