I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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