R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
