Ambien. No doubt about it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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