She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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