Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
