well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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