I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
