But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Less talking, more tequila
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
