I cannot find my penis.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
