her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
