do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
