i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
