You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
