You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
