just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I am spending my child support on dildos
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
