Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
