My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
