summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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