Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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