Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He felt like a one man threesome
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize