If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
