did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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