I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
