I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
