Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

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(705): View more from Ontario

We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?

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(315): View more from New York

She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.

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