I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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