she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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